I'm sorry, too, my friend... so many emotions and unknowns.
We all have choices - every single one of us. Your Mom's choices were overtaken by addiction. You have watched her dying for many years... just as I watched my Dad. I will thank God every day that both you and I have escaped the grips of alcoholism.
We now have to escape the grips of our depressed minds...
Wish I could give you a hug. And I wish we could all gather around you ....
I am there in spirit.