I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love. In my senior year of college, I watched my grandfather slowly die of cancer. His loss still causes me a lot of pain. Thirteen years later, I continue to celebrate his life everyday - not just on the anniversary of his death. I have some things that belonged to him - his wool fedora and some of his art. These things bring me a lot of joy now rather than sadness. I know that you will reach this point eventually. Keep posting - we are here to support you!