I wish it had been like that for me. I documented every detail also. I did this two times on my own. Of course with the help of friends and family. My own doctor had turned me over to the pain clinic, there was nothing else he could do for me. His last entry was that the patient is disabled. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you.

In Feb '05, about a week after my second lumbar spinal fusion in 10 years, the pedicle bone broke where the screw was inserted. They waited about 6 months before they went back in to fix it. They were not sure how to repair it. Then I was diagnosed with Arachnoiditis. They went back in and extended the hardware up higher two levels and removed the broken pedicle bone and screw that was lodged. I have permanent nerve damage in my hips, legs and feet. I can hardly bare for anyone to touch my skin on my lower back most days. I also can not sit longer than 10 minutes at a time now. After 10 minutes, a throbbing starts in my thigh and only gets worse until I lie down or get up and walk around. I also can not stand in one place for any lenght of time. The pressure on my legs is more than I can bare.

I had worked since I was 15 years old. I had my current job for the past 21 years. Of course it was a desk job. My friends filled out the SS paperwork for me because I had too much pride and could not admit that I could not do things on my own. I cried so hard signing my name, but it was all the truth. I think I cried even harder when I was turned down. We did it all again and followed all the rules and I was turned down again. My next step was the court room.

I knew that I mentally and physically could not go through a court session. I was on so much Oxycontin and Percocet along with antidepressants and lots of other stuff at night, I could not sit in a court room and have someone judge me. I felt like they had already told me that I was lying about my ability to work two times before. To have this said to my face would have put me over the edge of sanity. Friends and family agreed, I had had all I could bare for a lifetime. I called a lawyer. I went to his office, laid down on his couch and cried while my husband gave him all my paperwork. He told me right there that I would be approved and it could take up to 6 months for a court date. He said he would let me know when it would be. I would only have to show up.

I got a letter about 8 weeks later from SS telling me that I had been approved without a court date. It said I would receive my money in about 4 weeks and everything else that we are finally blessed with. When I called the lawyer, he didn't even know about it yet. They had notified me first! All he had done was sent in to ask for a court date. He told me that they pull and approve about 1 out of a 1000 applications from the court calendar because it is so full. Mine was one that pulled. I don't know if that's lucky or not? I didn't want to be there to begin with.

I've been reading this board and the old board for a long time now. I appreciate everything that is written and I'm sure it has helped me along the way. It's been 2 years since my original surgery and I finally have my life and antidepressants under control and don't spend my days crying any more. I do yoga some days and it helps me. I'm also on Topamax, so excuse the spelling and rambling, it also helps.

I hope you all keep on trying and don't give up.