Nightnurse-

I TOTALLY understand what you are saying about your job!

At the time of my accident, I was doing the job I LOVED and going to grad school to get my Masters and BCBA to work even deeper into my field. I was working in classrooms for children with Autism who had extreme behavioral and emotional problems.

Now, I will admit that I had two minor concussions in the past 3 years due to my job, (neither of which resulted in PCS). However, I feel they have been part of the reason why I'm struggling so hard since the one caused by the car accident.

However, I loved the kids that I worked with, being able to help them make progress. Although it was always a volatile environment, it kept me on my toes, was never boring and gave my life meaning helping these kids make progress and be able to be more independent emotionally and behaviorally.

Now, even if I do experience a full, functional recovery, my fiance and parents are begging me not to return to this line of work, for fear of another concussion and more medical consequences related to future brain damage.

However, I can't imagine not going back to that. It was who I was, it was one of the few things in life that gave me meaning and purpose. Now, as I sit here 7 months later, I don't know who I am any more, what my purpose is, and feel like I"m wasting my life away on my couch/my bed.

The meaning I derived from my job was a result of the direct care work that I did with my clients. If I had to go back to something at a desk, not directly working with kids, it would kill me. So I understand you want to be back in ICU and what it means if you can't.

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I too had a similar result when I tried to go back after 3 months. However, I wasn't protected by FMLA so they just fired me when I said I needed more time off.

I don't know what to say to help you or make you feel better, other than I know exactly how you feel about your job and how PCS interferes with what has made your life meaningful.