[QUOTE=Sasha;
What next?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I don't know. I have been fighting this crisis for 3 to 5 months and I am getting fed up. As Groucho Marx used to say to perfectly innocent people who had no idea who he was, "You realize, of course, this means war."
I am hoping to crank myself up out of the depression torpor and use all available weapons. Announce to people that I need to charge at this thing and I will probably need help. And hack away at it. Sleep? Warm milk and honey. A more comfortable pillow. Naps throughout the day. Diet? Rigorously no junk food. Pills as scheduled as possible, but no promise I can keep much of a schedule. Avoid stress excessively, totally. Music for sure. Dance? When possible. Call in the spiritual U.S. Marines.
There are emotions and creativity that sometimes seem to get dopa production going again. Sometimes getting angry works (careful!) Any PWP org nearby worth sharing with? Second opinion neuro? All I mean is, go at it full blast with all you can muster, and it may slink back to its cave. I am lucky in that I get some time with a Continuum teacher (sound, breathing, meditation-like; paying open attention to what is going on inside us & etc.) Physical action, with therapist if possible; sometimes individual sessions, but consider going to a course or a group, and not necessarily a PD group. It can help to "share" as they call it, and sometimes having someone there to go through exercises and talk together... can make a big difference.
Laura's ideas are great; balanced and profound.
As you say too, Sasha , I am totally perplexed that I can;t tell if my system is crying out for more drugs, or if i am overdosing and should take less. It feels like overdose every time.. but then I take more and it gets better, or not.