Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeful
HI Everyone,
I think I just need to vent. I will say I am sorry in advance. My pain is usually about a 7. I think I do pretty good tolerating that. I still am working full time. We all know how that is put the smille on be pleasant and don't let anyone know. After all pain is invisible.
For about the last 6 days my pain has shot up to a 10. I started taking Lamictal 2 weeks ago and started taking B12 about a week ago. I looked up Lamictal and the side effects say joint pain. I definitely do not think it could be the B12. This is definitely my neuropathy not joint.
I finally statyed home from work on Monday but have been in ever since.
I just want to scream. I am so tired of just putting on my smile and pretending nothing is wrong. Don't want anyone in work thinking this might effect my working ability. I really need my job.
I am actually afraid if I focus on my pain I am going to go crazy. It is becoming too much to bear. I try to not let my children know to much. Don't want them to think they have a weak mother or a mother that would give in and quit working. Ihave always been the strong one in our family.
My husband gets the blunt of how I feel. The man is a godsend most of the time but I caught him with tears in his eyes the other day when I told him how I felt. I imagine he feels helpless. Can't fix this one.
I do see a therapist. He tells me he can't believe how good I do with all this.
I feel like I am going to crash and burn soon. I just can't believe the person I use to be has gone away ( use to be very active)
I don't mean to sound so down. I know I will come back around. I am just so tired.
Thanks for letting me vent as I sit in my office with tears in my eyes.
It is just great to have a place to vent and people who understand.  |
Hi hopeful,
Boy do I understand you. You can vent all you want to me. I just left my job in July worked for 25 years as a manager of retail stores and even owned my own and also a clothing buyer. But when the doctor said time to quit, I was in shock yet it was someone else making the decission for me, you see I am always the strong one, can never let anyone down. Never could show weakness to anyone, inculding the pain I was and am in. I have been dragging my butt for so long it has become part of me. My neurologist said she did not no how I was doing it either, she said she has patients that are not half as bad off as I am who quit their jobs and could no longer work so is this a compliment or an insult? So yes I get your pain on all angles. The only difference is our husbands, mine I do not ever tell him exactly how I feel I just do not want to tell him and he is not strong, I quess the only people I tell how I really feel is on the forum groups (thank God ) for you all. Remember you have to take care of your self first before you can care for your family or do your work. Dont feel guilty either. This is the hardest part to learn. I am an A personality and go go is my motto until the last few years. So now it is go, sit, go, sit, go, sit.
Hope this finds your pain level getting better. What kind of neuropathy are you suffering with? The thing the neurologist told me was to listen to my body when I hurt sit, when I am tired sit, I know that is hard to do to, but you take your time and rest and next week may be a better week.,
Susie