Hi, Dr. Smith:

Like I said in my previous message to you, I am really desperate and, now, depressed and sad. I cannot help feeling this way when bad news after bad news keep coming my way, about one or the other of my chronic health conditions. What is next? A heart attack? A stroke? Cancer?

Not getting the needed and appropriate help from qualified doctors in my area forces me to order medications on the Internet. I want to make it clear that I am not encouraging the other forum users to do the same. I know there are many risks to ordering medications on the Internet but if I do not do it, how long will I be able to go on like this?! I remember a proverb that says: "Who does not risk anything does not get anything."

Quote: "You really should have a doctor on board with this stuff. You need to be tested for exactly which hormones you need if you're deficient at all, and have some guidance and someone knowledgable to help you through the process - testing & evaluation, how much of what to take, how often, what warning signs to look for, possible interactions with whatever else you take, when to stop, retesting & monitoring, etc."

Hopefully, my primary care physician has not only the willingness, but also the qualifications to do all this. Otherwise, I do not know what to do, except cry and cry and cry. I can summarize with three words what my life has been lately: desperation, depression, and sadness.

Quote: "Are you not entitled to a second opinion?" No, I am not, unless I pay the expenses (doctor's fees, echography, blood tests...) out of pocket, which represents a lot of money and I do not have the financial means to pay for all this. No one in my family will help me, especially my rich brother. I have no friends to help me financially. It is the same things with coworkers.

Quote: "Do you have any kind of patients' rights that entitle you to answers about your health/healthcare?" Unfortunately, no. At the risk of seeming harsh, the only right I have, if I am poor, is to die on the street. This way, the public health insurance company saves money on me.

Quote: "There are websites to help people find doctors here in the US; I would think that there are in other countries too." No, not in French Polynesia. French Polynesia is not the paradise postcards show; it is hell for so many people: the poor, the sick, the disabled, the jobless, the homeless...

I posted the thyroid blood test results somewhere, certainly in the Auto Immune Diseases thread, but no one was able to interpret them for me, including my doctor. All he could say is that I have thyroiditis. Which one (there are so many)? I do not know and this really makes me feel life is unfair. Some people in some countries get good medical care, but what about me? Do I not deserve good medical care just because I have the bad luck of living in French Polynesia? I really HATE French Polynesia! Really! What a hellish country! Lately, a German tourist has been killed and maybe eaten in the Marquesas Islands in French Polynesia.

Quote: "I do know something about pain, the process, the desperation, and the stages of grief we all go through with it." This is what I am going through but it does not seem to end.

Quote: "I'm hopeful about this therapy too, but I would not be doing it myself without my own doctors' involvement." You are lucky to have a doctor like that; I do not have such a doctor.

Quote: "As patients, we all must be involved in decisions about our healthcare, but it's a joint effort, and there are certain things we should not attempt without a doctor's help, and I think this is one of them." True, for those who are lucky enough to have a doctor like the one you mentioned.

Thanks for all your information. I hope to be able to apply it.