Hello F1D0,

Your story reminds me of my own first post here on NeuroTalk. It involved being left behind by my best friend, all the despair and misery and just being too tired to fight anymore, and I've put a gun to my own head more then a few times. But the people in this forum listened to me and supported me, and never abandoned me no matter how many times I complained about the same things; and they'll do the same for you. You'd be surprised how many different people here know exactly how you feel, if you come here you'll never be alone.

I'm also like you in the way I don't open up to people easily, but I could talk about my feelings openly here because these people will probobly never meet me, most don't even know my real name, it's just a big safe place to vent that's as anonymous as you want it to be.

You're doing the right thing in seeking treatment, though I think you should find a new therapist. Personally, it's much easier for me to talk to women, (I'm male by the way) maybe we're similar in this aspect too? I know there are at least a few people here who prefer their their therapists to be the opposite gender as them.

Keep talking to us too; if there's one thing we can do it's make you feel like someone understands what you're going through.