The guy tht im going to gt married to(its kinda like a fixed marriage) so he doesnt know bout my illness, but his mother seems to know jus a little bit. and when the time comes tht i have to tell him, i just hope he wudnt reject me and freak out!because i cause other people alot of suffering and hardship so i cant imagine what i'd put him thru, if it was being with me for a whole life time!!---thts my first problem!

my 2nd problem--ive been studying abroad all my teenage years and even up to now at the age of 21.but i feel like i cant cope any longer so id be goin back again for the millionth time.and ive moved schools 4 times in 10 years cause i cudnt cope with any of it(i end up in the hospital). and now i feel like i DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!
--it might be hard to get a job,(cause i never finish any of my studies)
-- i dont know where to get professional/medical help....(my emotions always effect my illness)and i cant take it anymore, tht after so many years of depression and pain and coping with it all,i want to get some help but i dont know where to start.
--my thought are always "how much longer am i going to burden the ones i love with this illness....can i survive on my own one day?without problems tht im facing everyday?