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I don't want to die but I just don't want THIS anymore. My best friend - the closest friend I've ever had - has since told me to not talk to her anymore. (She didn't know about the suicide attempt.) I still want to kill myself but I'm not going to for now. I just want to figure out why I am alive. Why did I survive such a fatal attempt with literally no physical repercussions? I do believe in God and if anyone else told me they survived that I would say it sounded like a miracle, but it doesn't feel like a miracle to me. It feels like a sentence: I must continue to suffer on this earth. And as soon as things do get better, they will surely also get worse. end Quote
Hi F1DO
I am glad you found this forum........im sad its down to how you have been feeling though...
you believe in GOD...yet question that your survival from your attempted suicide was not a miracle or divine intervention...... but has to be a miracle if someone else escapes death by suicide????? firstly if there is a god he would perform miracles to all INCLUDING YOU..[come un to me all who are suffering]
You say you still wish to kill yourself but not for now...........???you should be thinking i do......or i don't............
You say you feel like your failed attempt left you feeling your left in life to suffer???...............YOU CAN CHANGE THAT.......
Finally you say 'as soon as things get better, they will surely get worse?????
ever heard of self fore-filling prophesy............[ wake up all bleery eyed, banging headache...get out of bed, stub your toe.....and say its gonna be a bad day today.........GUESS what??? it becomes a bad day......
if you keep reaffirming the negative..........the negative is all you ever will see....................
say a few positives...........see the change that is within your ability to create.........
how do i know..................i have lived with suicidal thoughts for longer than i care to remember...........
but i want to live...get better at coping.....SURVIVE.............
YOU CAN TOO.............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_6vuSLlDCo
All aboard the roller coaster of life.......buckle up and enjoy the ride.............
David