Hello, and I am glad you found this site. No you didn't waste your time. You did do some things to try to help yourself. Just trying to read a book is a good thing. Any small movement forward is good. Keep coming back here for support. If you feel your moods just arn't good enough to give you good quality of life, maybe you should consider going back for council. I did that and changed from seroqeul to zoloft and my mood is better. Depression can sure be a hard battle. It is easier with the people who have helped me though some of the ruff spots. There is no stigma here regarding depression or by polar or anything else. Only compassion and a deep caring. I do wish you all the best. ginnie