It is a shame that we can't do things the way we could before, a lot of us on here have had to modify simple everyday tasks, find new ways of doing things we have done our whole lives, but unfortunately that is the way it is. I cannot do a lot of my hobbies like before, painting, kayaking, scuba diving, but I try to focus on the things I can still do, and that makes me grateful. Today we went for a hike in one of our national parks, the weather is cool, crisp and sunny, and the fall leaves are blooming with color, and at least I can still walk and hike! Although this evening I am suffering with extra aches and pains because of all the activity and looking around (and up at the trees) but it was worth it to get outside and enjoy the great fall weather. You still need to live! Just do it slowly! Lol

Don't think of yourself as a failure just because the surgery didn't go as expected, there are a lot of us that are not out of pain after surgery, and I think we are all strong for enduring what we have.

Try to do things on a smaller scale so your don't hurt so much, or modify things, my physiotherapist actually "showed" me how to clean my house with proper posture for a neck fusion, showed me how to exercise without hurting my neck, everything we do has to be altered somewhat because of our neck issues. Perhaps you would benefit from a good physiotherapist showing you some alternatives and helping you with pain? Mine is awesome, even gets down on the floor and shows me how I should be picking up laundry differently.

Hope tonight is better for you... Chin up girl!