Thanks everyone for your support. It actually feels good to be letting all this out. I know klonopin / serequel were great when i was taking them almost 3 years ago and I felt in the moment but still I had issues because I think most people wanted me to be off the meds and deal with it without them as they may have long term side effects, or it might help me gain confidence by not taking meds and facing this head on. Which I did for a while but then I now find myself struggling with this social anxiety and fear.. I was actually selfmedicating and taking klonopin even when I was not seeing the therapist 2 years ago. I thought I would just sleep and take meds and I will be ok eventually but did not realise that I actually needed to be involved in life. I will talk to a therapist and see what they recommend now as it has been almost 4 years since I have seen one and my anxities have grown immensly.