Hello Skeptic,

i am sorry you are facing all these difficulties and it sounds as though they are mounting. glad you are reaching out and seeing what you can do to help yourself, starting by posting here. you are not alone, many of us have similar problems. feel free to vent here.

i agree it will be beneficial to resume therapy, and i also hope you will consider medications. the social anxiety sounds heavy... almost to the point of paranoia? sometimes a short course with a particular med can help and then it can be discontinued... doesn't have to be for life.

a lot of people think that meds are crutches or imply weakness, but we see them as tools for getting better and having a better quality of life. you mention side effects and indeed these must considered in that balance. some of us here could not do without meds at certain times, but the goal of both meds and therapy is to allow us to have the best quality of life possible.

i hope you find a therapist you "click" with... keep us posted on your progress.

and welcome a-"board." (((hugs)))

~ waves ~