I am glad you found this site, and I hope others will also respond to you. Being a caregiver of someone is the most difficult job there is. It is the illness that makes a person behave so badly. He doesn't mean it. If he could just go in for some help, there would be a better outcome. don't give up on 16 years. Just try to get some help for both your self and for your mate. Being in that bad state of mind hurts everyone. If he won't go for help, then take it upon yourself to seek care for your own soul and peace of mind. You need some comfort for yourself. I nursed both my parents through their deaths and know how difficut caring for someone can be. I wish you all the best, please do keep in touch. There are compassionate people here who will do their best to make you feel welcome and comfortable. Be good to yourself and try to get some help. ginnie