Bizi, waves and bluemjao, i understand your point of view about not mentioning it to my family and you are right. There is another reason i feel uncomfortable talking to my family about the meds , it is that I think they are also bipolar , and they are fighting it off in their way and i dont want to influnce them , if that makes any sort of sense. I guess I am pretty messed up, i actually think that everyone is bipolar. I havent seen them take meds or therapists instead I see them talk openly and say whats on their mind right away. Maybe I have started to relate people being open and happy and angry to being bipolar. I have difficulty with that as i really worry about what is on my mind is not what others want to hear and making others uncomfortable or come out as being a jerk, so i keep quiet and keep in all my emotions. i think that makes a lot of people uncomfortable around me. I have mostly lived alone after my divorce in 2005, had quite a few girlfriends till before my diagnosis, but never let anyone too close so its one of the hardest thing for me to communicate verbally specially when i think the person i m talking to is also bipolar.