Ah, thanks Alffeeeee. I'm sitting here with a siamese cat curled under one arm and a lap top on my knee, watching The Price is Right (lol!) sorta. I woke up to a lovely email from our Lara. I hope your weekend with your girls was full of warmth and laughter.

I'm doing much better - I seriously wish I could figure out what makes me spiral out of control when it comes to depression... my meds DO work but there are times I still can't seem to shake off that "not worthy" feeling. Its times like this that I just want to quit everything... knowing that isn't the answer!

I've only been back singing since about January and "they" have placed me in the back row of the chorus, left - where all the world can see me - I may as well be a soloist up there- and last night just before I went to bed I received an email from our choreographer telling me that some of my choreo moves are late, blah blah blah... and would I take some time to review it. That gets my blood boiling - I won't go into the details of how crappy she is a choreographer and lacks teaching skills.... I just gotta suck it up and practice even more ... either that or say screw it, I've got to slow down and not put so much pressure on myself (we're having a show in November).

Just bringing that up to show how quickly the scale can tip... I kept thinking - why couldn't I read that email in the morning - why did it have to be moments before I go to bed... aaaargh.... and I put the blame on this stupid woman when, really... she doesn't know better... and it is up to me .... AND I am letting it go, so there!

I may take the pressure off myself and not be in the show - I'm not sure if its vanity that keeps me going.... or if its stupidity.... lol

And, in the scheme of things... this is nothing