There are changes in RSD patients brain chemistry.

Sticking his head in the sand and taking it out on you seems unacceptable IMO.

I treated my son too harshly years ago when my pain was out of control, for a period of about 8 months. He understands some of it was beyond my control, but it effected our relationship for years. It was really hard for him to trust me afterwards.

The first thing I did was see a pain psychologist that helped me learn to breath through the pain. Learning to accept that you're disabled is not an easy process either, and he might need a therapist to deal with that as well.

I refused strong meds for fear of addiction (family history) and my then doc didn't really disclose what he was prescribing...but starting opiates was a big step for me to begin behaving like my old self again--especially in regards to my relationship with my teenage son. Teenagers are never fun, but I was lucky to have one that was high achieving and mostly drama free and my pain induced foul moods didn't do him any favors.

Insomnia is another issue for those with chronic pain. If he's sleep deprived, that will only exacerbate his problems.

Would he go to couples counseling with you?

I will say, other family members have taken my flares personally, when I just look miserable and get quiet. Lord, one of them even has complained, when I breath loudly--which I do reflexively at this point. But they can ask now, and I can explain, "No, I'm not irritated with you. I'm just having a bad day." When my pain was out of control there were times I really was inappropriately angry.