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Old 10-27-2011, 06:12 PM
JulieRN JulieRN is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 66
10 yr Member
JulieRN JulieRN is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 66
10 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho View Post
JulieRN,

Sorry to hear you continue to struggle so. Your stubbornness may be exacerbating your condition.

First, have you hired a Work Comp attorney? Sounds like you need a good one with experience in brain injuries. Check out www.tbilaw.com for a good referral.

You need to have a good sit down conversation with your 9 year old. Maybe you can watch the "You Look Great" YouTube videos together. You can also read some of the TBI Survival Guide with him. If he is missing his mom, he can play a big part in getting her back, even if it is the broken mom.

Once he understands that you are trapped in your broken brain, he may be better at not pushing your buttons. He is old enough to start making some adult like choices. You will be surprised how he can grow up fast if he understands.

You exercising may be prolonging your condition. Holding on to the old you may be counter-productive.

Have you explained all of your symptoms to those around you? Trying to suck them up and hide them is confusing to those friends, etc. Explaining what is happening inside your brain at the moment can be a big help: Like, "That is way to much visual stimulation." I like the term John's therapist used. He gets flooded with too much.

Tell them all how they can help you. DO NOT LET STUBBORN PRIDE STOP YOU from asking for their help, etc.

Also, don't let that same stubbornness prevent you from taking better care of yourself. Only you can tell what is happening in your head.

It is a major milestone when you come to grips with letting go. It does not mean you are helpless. Just that you need help sometimes. Even a 9 year old can help you.

You said <I can NOT stand the TV being loud, too many people talking to me at once, multitasking and most recently...the drive thru at fast food restaurants! I can't seem to make my mind up fast enough >

You can take control of these things. Tell people that you can only tolerate one voice at a time. This is not up for discussion. If you have to hell "STOP" Then in a softer voice, 'Only one voice at a time." Lowering your voice after getting their attention will show them that you are in control of your behavior. The TV can be turned down.

I bet your fast food drive through struggles is based on three things. Those in the car with you are being indecisive or talking at the same time. The voice on the speaker is garbled causing auditory overload in your brain. And, you think you are holding up the system, the cars behind you and those waiting for your order. My wife has this struggle.

Maybe you should park the car, get your order ready on a note pad, then get in the drive through line, Or,,,, Go inside to the counter.

I know that women hate it when men try to say, "Just do this and so." But you need to find some new ways to get through the day. I do feel your pain. I have been living it for 11 years.

Take these ideas one step at a time. Write them down for others to read so they can help you.

Yes, it is a tough road, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even if the light is just getting better at learning how to cope better.

If all else fails, Stop to Think. That means stop everything else. Then take a deep breath and relax. Then, with it all stopped, try to think. Stress is your enemy. Use the quiet passing of time as your friend.

My best to you.
Hi Mark,

Thank you SO much for your response and your very encouraging words of advice. I do have an Attorney, hired him within the first month of my injury...for that, I am grateful! I can't imagine WHAT I would be dealing with if I didn't have him! The process is frustrating and I know that I've taken on way too much of this myself. I need to try to change this and I don't feel that I have control over it...I'm very compulsive and though I've always had a stubborn streak, it is SO exacerbated since my injury. I hate the fact that I attribute any symptom to my injury as it feels like I'm making "excuses" for my behavior. I know I have a longggg way to go, but the comp. carrier has FINALLY agreed to give auth. for me to see Neuropsych...my Atty. hopes that the appt. will be before mid December...and I've been out on STD since July...Comp. has even picked me up again....the system sucks. Period. And I am so motivated to be healed and to the point where I can return to the workforce and advocate for people who have to go through the Worker's Comp. process. There has to be a better way because this truly isn't it.
My Son is getting better with pushing my buttons lol, thank you so much for the pointers. He is very intelligent and interested in "helping" me....I've become less concerned about how other people view me and more interested in healing. I am continuing at the gym, however, I've tailored my workout to not completely wipe me out. I'm off of the treadmill and doing the eliptical at a slower pace. It makes me feel good and throughout all of this...I quit smoking I can not express my gratitude to you enough...and I am slowly coming to terms with the "new" Julie...trying to accentuate the positives of the new me.... I'll keep you posted on my Neuropsych progression....
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