yes I care and so will others. Yes the next life will be better. I have no doubt. Don't be in a hurry to see the next life yet. See what developes with your medications, and lets some people try to help you figure things out. There is hope, and love yet in this world. Not everything is bad. Why won't your doctors take out your thyroid and just put you on that medication? if you are hurting that much, can't you ask him too?, or find a doctor who will listen to you? Somebody will take an interest, if you squack loud enough. the squeeky wheel gets the greese. Start making a hissy fit about it to your doctor, and don't let them give you the run around. There has to be some help there. Tell your doctors you are feeling this way, and demand to be listened to. ginnie