thank you all again, for the hugs, bumps, ideas, more hugs, love, and kind thoughts. i am sorry i have not replied. i am having crisis after crisis. and am copping out tonight with this blanket post here... sigh... ....

thanks for all the love and support sending love back to each of you.

i will say that the thought about the community (assisted living w/ therapy) seems to be putting pressure on me and same with the material we are doing in therapy. again though, i gotta get out of this place. this being the pit. just not sure if moving out into a double room will get me more privacy than i can get here. there are many privileges living at home. i just don't know.

the therapy, i think is important that we continue working on the current issues. but they may have made things temporarily worse. i am having a lot of anxiety attacks as well as depression and i don't know if it's all due to my folks or maybe internal or both.

tonight i had one so bad 2.5 mg lorazepam did not cover it. i wanted another 2.5 instead i took my night meds early since they include 2 mg of another anxiolytic of similar potency. i have been using the lorazepam much more than usual and do not keep track at all . not good thing. .

~ waves ~