Hi, Addy:

Like I said in one of my previous messages, my family does not care about me. Besides that, I have no friends and coworkers who care about me. I remember, for example, my mother telling me several times: "Go kill yourself if you are that unhappy." It might seem hard to believe for anyone who has not heard it or who never had a family member talk to him/her this way, but this is the truth and I know God knows it and believes me. My family would be more than happy to see me gone. They told me several times: "Why do you stay here and bother us with your presence? Go away and kill yourself so we can be rid of you!"

I would rather die right now than go to a psychiatric hospital as a 5150. The French psychiatric hospitals and French psychiatrists in French Polynesia (where I live) are not 1% as good as American psychiatric hospitals and American psychiatrists. All the French psychiatrists in the French psychiatric hospitals know to do is to tell you that you are nuts and then, they give you shots to shut you up. By the way, how could they help me?! By locking me up for the rest of my life?! As long as my thyroiditis is there and no one does anything to alleviate the unbearable and horrible symptoms this thyroid gives me, I will continue wanting to die.

Thanks for your kind words and prayers but I think this thyroiditis problem is the last straw that broke the camel's back. As each day goes by, I hate my thyroid more and more. There is not a day that goes by without my punching, pinching, pulling, and pressing very hard on my detestable thyroid.