I remain a fall risk and must have as assisted shower now that the staples are out. Tonite, the nurse has two student nurses. Thank goodness they are all female. So I had the humbling experience of showering while 3 nurses stood there and watched. gees......

Then I realized i had 3 nurses in front of me- 2 were student so they got a shower and dry length lecture about pwp needs in the hospital.

the next part is a secret. it occurred to me that i am never quite "on" because they serve 3 huge meals a day. the therapists see me off and contribute it to the surgery and recovery. i they handled me with kid gloves always telling me too fast.i am past where they think i am when i am on my feet. Another reason I did it was because i was off for a whole day due to pigging out on food and spent the whole evening with severe dystonia.

They will not give you an extra sinemet so that did it for me; these people are responsible for my release and have me walking like a very elderly person. i took an extra sinemet yestersday and the PT said , you are really zippy today i've never seen you so zippy. the OT and PT have seen me half on and off but never really on. today i took an extra one and the PT, again ,made me slow to super elderly speed. I always explain that this is from pd and this is sciatica and this is the surgery healing. my OT is more trusting and gives me ,more freedom. i cut my food intake. My roommate and I are the OTs most improved patients.

im ready to drive. the nu step has prepared me for it.

so in spite of having to sneak one when off to show what i am capable of doing properly medicated, it is just the truth -why should they think the surgery isn't healed when actually i'm off?

you do what you have to do when you are up against an uneducated nurse and/or doctor. most of the care assistants are not nurses. and i don't like men seeing me undressed.

i will only take an extra if i'm off for therapy or get dystonia. that should be my right - not to suffer; and nurses don't get into trouble if they don't know. i'd like to tell my PT and OT tho so they will be aware of exactly where i am at different times of the day.

sneaking in drugs. my friend and i were quite cool as i passed the bottle into her hand which was slipped into her purse and ever so calmly entered the facility .then i remembered the cameras monitoring all the entrances with monitors stationed at the front desk. so far so good. i am shooting for freedom on the 11th.

0ne fall cost me a mental delirium, almost a week of my life, with just a few days blatantly psychotic and in and out the rest of the time. As hard as I've tried, my doctors still put me off, get up to leave when yu begin to speak or ask questions; they just don't listen. i don't get dyskinesia from sinemet. i get it from not enough sinemet. my mouth is very affected with what i think is dyskinesia....wondering if its tardive. in one ear and out the other.

so what am i supposed to take away from this? more of what makes people tick; i came in raging so it was only natural that they did talk about me. Their attitude was to ask me what i wanted and then not respond with a comfirming "ok" but just attitude. i called my brother in seattle and said i felt trapped in a situation where no one cared about me and i wouldn't be able to get enough meds. i panicked because what i feared was indeed true.


i agree that you need an advocate. and never miss an opportunity to explain what they are seeing. i have a grotesque signal that i'm going off and that's a head bobbing from side to side.

this facility is lacking the reputation it could have. but today there were a couple assistants gossiping in my room. i actually like most of them...when you have to do battle, you can't see what they have to offer besides saying "NO U CAN'T HAVE YOUR SECOND XANAX until 4 hours go by. meanwhile i take them 2 at a time at home. Hospital policy.


the voices are all gone. i'm back and anxious to get out. ill be going to the hospital and getting my records and apologizing to my nurse, monica. who attended to me the most and i did things like ask her if she was captain of the cheerleaders in high school and told her she should do a tooth commercial because she had very white teeth.

i am equally as enlightened about anesthesia fog,n feel trusting an anesthetist blindly is not wise. find out what is in all the bags and request some time to talk about what is coming afterward. one of the problems with this event is no on sat down with me and explained what happened and i was a pwp advocate monster.


tonight another new nurse is on duty and didn't know about my personal brand name bottleand only brought one instead if two. so meds arepushed back an hour but i didn't go off because the booster i had taken earlier tied me over . with new ones again knowing nothing about specific illnesses. the next battle will be to get my first dose if i wake up to someone sticking a needle in my arm and saying, i'm mark, from the lab. i am still on blood thinners and high dosages of potassium.


i am doing so well because i exercise regularly. it's the most important thing for yu to have strengh to come back from this. incision is healing but its the pd muscles that need stretching.


i hope to come home soon; i'm looking into meals on wheels and any other resources availble to me. my house is for sale. i really needed the nourishment and the caregiving; my load is heavy-been a long while since i felt cared for and the meals are huge.

ok u are probably sleepy, but someone will get something out of this. i hope some of them are doctors , nurses and care assitants.

sorry for errors ; may clean up tomorrow. are we losing posters?anyone can help with questions.