Dear Waves,
You are making progress with pdoc.
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Originally Posted by waves
he told me, he wasn't sure - he would have to look into some things.
well that is the first time he has given me an answer like that. ha! he gave himself homework for me!  |
This is good news. Maybe the two of you can make even more progress. He can do the DBT I think. He already has an idea of what it is. Next, he will have to put himself in the role you need.
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i have not found an explicit enough way to let my parents know when i cannot engage. especially my mother.
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People who are not suffering have no idea how much work it takes for us to be alive. Those kind of intrusions mess can mess us up. I wish you could put up a flag life the life guards do:
http://www.mydelraybeach.com/Delray/...Conditions.htm
Flag Meanings:
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GREEN: Low Hazard: Conditions are calm; normal care and caution should be exercised.
YELLOW: Moderately Hazardous Conditions: Moderate currents and/or surf are present.
RED: Very Hazardous Conditions: Rough surf and/or strong currents exist; swimmers are strongly discouraged from entering the water.
DOUBLE RED: Closed to the Public: The water and/or beach are closed to the public due to severe currents and/or surf, water pollution, the threat of lightning, or the presence of predatory fish.
PURPLE: Marine Pests: Man o' war, sea-lice, or jelly fish are present. This flag may be flown along with any of the other flags.
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Thus, Green means please leave me a lone.
Yellow means excercise care and caution when you talk to me. If you have an emergency I will talk to you, but I won't like it.
Red means no. Really, no.
Double Red means no about talking to me . .. . And no words in the language can express how much I really really need no one interfering with my efforts to stay alive
I don't know what purple means. Maybe we fly purple with the the other flags as a way to make a point.
I welcome any suggestions to improve my swim/ do not swim in the ocean warnings.
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Suggestions on how i can handle momma Columbo? General statements do not work... even specific ones don't... sigh. ignoring her hasn't worked either btw. so now what??? any ideas?
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If this is nutty, I apologize. Trade places with her. Ask for a certain amount of time. No one is to knock. I remember when you cared for her. She was in her room and she was undisturbed. Maybe remind her of that.
Or, let her know that you will talk to her at a certain time (5:00 say) and ask that she not talk to you before or after that. She can write down what she needs to say and tell you then. I know that I interupt people because I am afraid I am going to forget to tell them. I think she is connecting with you. That is normally a good thing. Do you you think she has some anxiety or is she basically a little bit more high strung than you would prefer?
Back to my flag idea. Can you set up some visuals? A little barrier? A light on or a light off. How about wearing clothes that serve as a visual to her that you are sick. Or wear your hair a certain way. She is not hearing what you say. She might be able to see reminders.
When my hubby violates my no talking time, I do not answer him. I tell him I will talk to him at such and such a time. I repeat that. I do not respond to him. Sometimes I use hand gestures to wave him off.
(Acutally, this is usually because he is being hyper in an abonoxious way and I have to tell him I can't talk to him when he is like that and will talk to him later. Tdoc tells me that he is probably panicking when I refuse. Still, I have found some ways not to engage him . . . . probably I did not explain them well but it is late and I might get to bed at a reasonalbe time.
Take whatever meds work.
I experiemented with the time for my bezos today and things did not work out well. Maybe I can experiement again another day.
Take care.
M