I'm sorry things aren't getting any better for you, stranger. I think it must be difficult for you to get help from any kind of social system where you live, is it? Are there counselors of any kind available?

I hope you are seeing a medical doctor, because that's so important right now. That person ought to be able to tell you whether your hydrocephalus is something that can probably pass on to your baby. You need to get rid of as much stress as possible from your life.

Try posting on those different forums a lot. Talking about your feelings helps a lot of us, & people will begin to respond as they get to know you.

Take good care. Keep coming back.