So sorry to hear you are in such pain. My first spinal fusion was not successfull but the second was. C3-7. don't let your doctors just pass you over. Go for another referal if you can. I want my life back too, I know how you feel. I was jumping out of airplanes, horseback riding, had my job. I know how depressed a person can feel. I hope I can give you some hope that things can get better. I know what it is to loose your health. I stay around this site for comfort alot. I wish there was a way to reach out to you, so that you will continue to try and get medical help. I had several neruo surgeons before I found one that worked with me, and didn't talk down to me. Our pain is very real, both physically and mentally. I am also sorry you lost your dog. Our pets comfort in the way no human can. I lost my scruffy of 21 years a cat last year. That hurt, I know your pain. Can you get another? I did just that and adopted a male cat two years old that needed a home. He helped me get over my grief. I didn't think anything like that would work but it did. Can you get another pet? I had no faith that I would ever get over my grief. This new animal made me smile again. I hope things work out for you eva. ginnie