Dear Bobby
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Originally Posted by mymorgy
I thought your other post showed that you were manic.
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not sure which post you mean, but it takes a week of full "upness" to be considered manic, unless there are psychotic sx. i was not even fully euphoric. if i get manic it is a lot higher than i was. i don't always talk about all the sx on the board. my concern was that i was very suddenly on the flip side of depression, and by a lot. however, the day after - which was yesterday - i was tamer and mood quality was low. later i think the confrontation with my dad contributed to a really bad mood and thoughts of death again today after he became passive aggressive and manipulative. anyway. this is a situation. this will pass.
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I wonder if you sleeping pattern has anything to do with your need for privacy.
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mostly no, but here, yes. the "natural" night pattern i related referred to when i lived alone so privacy was no issue. living here, i
do prefer the night because of the privacy
also, but the "natural" tendency to invert night and day completely is thwarted, because daytime sleep is disturbed repeatedly by light and sounds. so if i go off the "civilized" night-sleep schedule my sleep ends up all over the map.
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I have been doing something awful. I get ready for bed at four o clock and watch cnn til i fall asleep at about 11.
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yuck. how can you stand news? i find it really upsetting. i stay away from it as much as possible. i only hear what my parents expose me to unwillingly, and i try to blot it out every way. recently it is horrible because there is important stuff going on, and they turn it on in the living room sometimes, which is not my space. and then, they talk about stuff real loud... so i get it indirectly anyway. i used to like CNN so i could get like the basic gist of anything major going on in a single 15 minute shot, and then not watch news for aeons again. i have always hated news but it has got worse and worse. occasionally something will happen that i will actively seek information about because it feels relevant to me. for instance the recent death of a motorcyclist was that way. i don't want to know about wars and natural disasters and the media keeps mercilessly shoving the same information down one's throat... even use the same footage here sometimes. ugh.
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sometimes i fall asleep much earlier. I have little motivation.
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i don't see a problem with an early bedtime. i am a bit concerned that the CNN stuff is not good for you. they repeat information also. could you watch something else? what about a good movie every now and then?
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I read mostly during the day. If only i could get myself to start exercising a little. I usually now do two crossword puzzles a day.
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this is excellent! crossword puzzles are great brain exercise. i am good with word games but i get frustrated with crosswords. i get most of the way and then lose patience.
love
~ waves ~ really tired today, even after coffee.