Dear eva, I am sorry your pain level isn't good. You are right that anger and pain don't go together very well. Am I correct that you have a pain pump? Did something go wrong with your last surgery? Go in to see the doc. don't sit and suffer. Cry in front of him or her, that is OK. I also know what it is like to cry in public. People can be kind. I will hope and pray your pain levels go down where you can feel human again. ginnie