wound up in bed sick
meds tend to do that
my body wants to rid of them
managed keeping them down
ate some yogurt along with grape nuts
seemed to settle my stomach
took enough pain away
that allowed some need sleep
wasn't much
it was somewhat solid
but the creepy dreams i can do without
go up earlier than i would like 4:50 a.m.
so the clock told me
it was pain that had me stirring
laid there for an hour
just until corissa my daughter
had to get up for school
had yogurt with some cereal
took my meds only to
see the rain outside
sure that has much to do with the heightened pain
another day to conquer
as the days go on by
i find rather then healing
it is becoming unbearable
i have a job waiting for me
i am on my third leave no pay
and i mentioned before ssd isn't cutting it
my third request for leave
my job began a threat taking away
my insurance that too was a disruption
i took care of business
uncalled for harassment
but reinstated never-the-less
in writing
but as time goes by
i wonder will my life
as it is now not working
it's a major part of my life
and livelihood
these surgeries did me no good
made it worse
again i fell i was a good chance to make $
his (my surgeon) behavior is just
so nonchalant
way not cool
i'm the oldest of three
my middle sister 2 years younger than myself
started first then myself right behind her
when we came into America i was 5
my sister and i were deemed calcium deficient
telling this to all 10 or 12 doctors
was not a concern
i have had all kinds of blood work done
as my sister has
no real red flags
i will venture into the Big City
5 minutes to get into NYC a specialty hospital
bone ortho nerves and so on where my sister has her doctors
name of hospital escapes my mind
don't know how long till
i loose it all together
my passion in all my life is
or shall i say was cooking
so between missing my dog
and not able to cook my yummy meals
crap this just sucks big time
hoping for some relief tomorrow
get results from biopsy


thanks for listening
and allowing me to let loose

wish all a feel good day