Thanks Mark, and Rae - thanks for the questions you posed. They did help a lot by giving me some things to contemplate. I felt so good two days ago when I got the call that the surgeon was trying to do this in one surgery. Unfortunately that time experiencing God's peace has fled. I wish I knew what was so afraid of - i've had 13surgeries and never was afraid of a surgery like I am of this one. Four years ago I had a 12 day migraine then my eyes rolled back in my head and I was turning blue. My brain, for whatever reason (we don't know why) stopped breathing for me and I had a breathing tube and was sedated for a week, and stayed another 4 days in the hospital. I was so weak! and recuperate took an incredibly long time. I would say, in terms of walking /
strength, I still have not recovered. I've had one surgery since then, in 2009 - arthroscopic surgery on my right knee with the surgeon who has operated on me 4 times, and on my family members another three times. She is such a blessing to me! But - wish I knew where the fear for this surgery was coming from! I just don't know. Oh well, it's past midnight and time for bed. Hopefully the reason will show up so I can work on it. It will have to wait till the light of day. Thank you all - I so appreciate your support!