Hi dear everyone,

I have been reading you, just not writing because really, my wrists have been in to much pain... (fibromyalgia) and my eyes have been giving me double vision... ugh

Anyway, I have been wanting to write you several days ago because this is the deal:
My cousin, the one who is my age, and used to share "everything" with me, is getting married... I admitt it has been a while since we took different ways in our lives... About 10 years maybe... we stop going together everywhere and sharing everything... our lives have not much in common anymore, but, the thing is that I felt offended because she didnt told me anything about her wedding... it is march and she just told me "come"... but didnt share with me anything, like choosing the dress and that stuff you know... I feel sad for that matter... also, depressed because she is doing her life and me ?? I have no life at all... and we are the same age... Also, I have a big problem because I DO NOT want to attend the wedding... forgive me but I cant stand her boyfriend and I hate parties... and my family... but it will be very difficult to say I dont want to go...

I have too many things to solve in my mind... like, I want to go to NYC in 2 weeks to see my band for the last time in a while (they are taking a loooooooong break ) but hotels are sooo expensive I cant pay any... so, this woman I met in Houston in a concert precisely, offered me to share... the room... I mean, she is so clean and polite, but Im worried I might not be the best roomie... Im lazy and Im not the typical tourist if that make sense... I dont know... I feel uncomfortable but at the same time, it is a way to make this trip happen...

Argh... I feel just confused...