Good morning! I am down today. It's been four months. I started my walks again...(controlled and steady steps) and I was starting to feel like myself again. I thought ok...I'll continue my walks and when I go back to the doctor at the end of December I'll ask about going back part time. I was so excited and confident that I would be able to...until last night.

I went to my Aunts birthday party at her home. I would say there was about 20 people there. At first I seemed to do ok. I visited with some relatives, played with the adorable toddler. It all seemed pretty good.

Two hours into the party most everyone was sitting down. I was standing next to my husband and all of a sudden I got unsteady. I was like ok. My husband saw this and pulled over a chair. I sat down and tried to focus and my head which was whooshing quietly suddenly increased it's volume. It was so loud I couldn't hear anyone talking.

My husband who is so awesome asked me whats wrong. I had that "look". I told him I needed to go outside. We went outside and I just started crying. A meltdown I guess. I'm not really sure.

Needless to say we ended up having to leave. My aunt is a doctor and is acutally recovering from a head injury she sustained a few weeks ago. She said she understood.

In the car on the way home I was shaking up. It was dark out and the headlights from the cars were getting to me.

I cried some more and honestly I dont think I'm done crying. I feel so overwhelmed. The holidays are coming and money is so tight. My husbands on unemployment and I'm on disability.

After last night I'm very scared. I woke up today and my head is whooshing and I'm very sensitive. The tears are coming way to easily. How can I return to work when I cant even handle a room full of people. I'm so scared.