Turkey day is just a few hours away - a big deal at our house= complete with big dinner, xmas decorations being put out, flagg foot ball, and midnight window/wish shopping....

Not this year. Not at this rate anyway...

And here I sit in tears of frustration and am P.O'd.... because I'm not lasting long enough (even on the mestinon) before "pzzzzzhhhhh" -and there I go feeling/acting like a deflated balloon - so I took a (much needed) break from prep and tried to find the humor, a way to accomplish what I want to do and a reason to be grateful after the first escapade of the day....

It seems as if Tom Turkey has more fight in him then I do at this point- I went to wrestle his innards out and give him a butter massage and instead dropped both of us on the floor and had to argue with the 3 cats that TOM was NOT their dinner before i could rescue the bird, stand up and wash him off and try again... picture a grown woman sitting on the floor trying to hug a 19 lb turkey with 3 mewing tomcats surrounding and circling her..... I will definitely be asking for help putting the bird in/getting him out for his sauna...

The mash potatoes this year are going to have to be instant unless I try to do like a grape masher / wine press and stomp on them while I sit on my stool - wonder what my mother-in-law would think of that (omg I just might do it hehe)

The vegetable snack tray - just hid all the knifes in the house and tell hub he has to go buy a store tray one - we can't cut vegetables with butterknives.

I wonder if anyone will really notice if I don't shred the bread for stuffing and we have stuffing slices instead?

Pumpkin pie? hummm send hub back to store again.

Deviled eggs? maybe we'll just have angel eggs this year - boiled egg whites but no stuffing mix in them?

Gravy - Campbell's to the rescue assuming I can operate the can opener.

Squash - do I really have to cut it open and deseed it to cook it?

Wardolf salad - hum, substitute grandson's prepacked apple slices and carmel dip - ditto on the cheese and cracker tray -use his string cheese in package.

Homemade biscuits are definitely out - but am I commiting doughicide if I toast that Philsbury dough boy since I can't seem to open the stupid roll?

Forget the "good" dishes they're on the top shelf... send hub back to store for the good "chinette" - wonder if he's as tired as me yet?

Have blender on standby if I can't swallow again tonight....and then puree everything for everybody so they can share and "know how I feel" Urrrrggg

Use superglue on the utensils so no one can pick them up off the table and eat.

Plan for next year: pizza place on speed dial as back up....

Any other ideas?

MG maybe robbing my strength but I can be grateful I'm still crazy!