You know I have weird memories.

In college (30 years ago) as part of a class I worked in a long-term psychiatric facility. As we walked through a building, in a quiet passage way, a patient grabbed my friend by the hair and held a HEAVY phone receiver above her head, threatening to smash it down. As we were college BFFs she grabbed my hair to stop me. We were at the end of the line, our classmates and teacher continued on through a door. In silence we stood. Him holding her hair and that heavy phone receiver above her head, her holding my hair tightly. It seemed an hour, but it was only seconds. Slowly he put the phone receiver down. This was back in the old days, when heavy old phones could kill.

Now I'm stealing memories a comedian remembered.

If you weren't home, the phone just rang and rang all by itself.
Remember dials? Zero took forever.