I know about those thoughts too. I get overwhelmed at times, combining medical problems with severe family issues leading me to a court confrontation. My brain just gets tired, and I guess I look for a way out in places I shouldn't go. Depression is a constant battle. I did go for coucil and I am glad you are doing that too. I also agree with Mark, those around you sometimes just tell you to get over it and go on. It is not as easy as that. I come back to this site often for support, so I keep going the right direction. I have found the kind of compassion here, that helps me through some of my darkest times. I get the courage to keep trying to move forward in my life and try not to beat myself up too much. I am glad we both found this site, and I do wish you all the best. My councelor is great, and it helps that I have known him for many years. Take heart, and be good to yourself first. ginnie