Hello, this is the first time ive posted on something like this. I wasnt sure how to create a new post , so sorry i am just adding to this.

I have been diagnosed with post concussion syndrome. I guess I want to know, will it go away? Its destroyed me, people who care for me and my life.

I live in Japan and went over to China for a couple of weeks just after the earthquake.

That was my first mistake

My second mistake was renting a scooter, which I crashed when a man walked out into the road. I pulled the brakes, went over the handle bars and landed head first.

The helmet broke. As soon as it happened I instinctively stood up to drag my scooter to the side of the rode. As I stood up and started to do that, I went dizzy and collapsed onto the floor, my vision went and my friend had to try hard to keep me awake. I kept going in and out of blackness and felt really ill.

I always downplayed the story to people , because I didn’t want those who cared about me to worry.

I was taken to a little hospital in the middle of nowhere　the doctors didn’t care about my head but more about the cuts and scrapes on me.

I took myself home on the same bike and apart from feeling achy and sore , I felt ok.

I was a little worried, so back in the bigger town that night I took myself to a real hospital where they gave me a CAT scan and told me I was concussed. The doctor said he saw no problems on the scan.

I went back to Japan

When my girlfriend opened the door to me, the first thing she said is “your different”, even before I said what happened.

Between then and now, my girlfriend of 5 years who I thought I would marry left me.
Not because of what I did after the concussion, but I guess it was how I dealt with it.
And after my mother recently visited me I realized I could not really remember what we had done while she was here. It just seems blurry and difficult to piece together. The same as the prior months after my girlfriend left to another country, I thought It was just my stress or the fact I was ignoring important decisions I had to make.

But anyway, gradually I pieced together all these clues and read an article on the bbc abou concussion and it lead me to finding out about PCS..so I ended up in a doctors room, and now, ive been diagnosed with it.

I find it hard to grasp time and my memory of weeks and months seems to blur together into one big mess. I find myself switching between being emotionless or too emotional for no reason. I have sharp headaches often. I cant think in a rational way or connect with anyone in speech. My mother told m when she visited that I seem detached　and really irritable.

I recently suffered from vertigo a few times which the doctor originally told me was an ear infection side effect, but another doctor said I have no ear infection. So I guess that was a result of PCS

The list of things goes on.

I guess, I just want to know if it will go.

I really think if I didn’t have this, my life would be different right now. It happened at a time when I needed to be myself. Its almost as if im looking at myself compared to how I was, I see those differences and understand why they are there. But I still cant pull myself together.

Does anyone have advice, knowledge?

As im in Japan its hard to get an easy honest answer in English.