dear friends

i have put many things on the back burner
but my pain get worse as the days go by
i wake up if i slept
and am just amazed
at how quickly my body is rotting away
dna i am aware of
predisposition i understand
however being bombarded
one thing after another
i sincerely don't know
if i am coming or going
i had to lay on my stomach
for 20 minutes as i was having
a mri because i now am positive
for breast cancer
but oh my goodness
trying to get up after mri
i SCREAMED inside of pain
pain all over
my bones and nerves
just can't give up for just a bit
my neurosurgeon hasn't even called
since i had to cancel my ct-scan
to check if my fusing has completed
if i were to take a guess not so
2nd surgery destroyed me
i have no doubt he has made things worse
horners syndrome developed after 2nd surgery
and he will not own up to it
since then my hope for any reasoning
with him is out the window
and although HE is now on the back burner
i will see him one last time
and let it be on record
i have caught him in lies
his bulling tactics don't work with me
my thyroglosscal cyst has only become active
during his care all the
x-rays ct-scans mri and some in
these past 3 years
so not cool
and i need to express this to him
here i go venting again
but i am not done with him
if it is just to teach him whatever
it is what it is
some are directly his mishaps
and caused me much permanent pain
until then it was recommended
that i look into a pain pump
but i have other things going on
wishing others success in their
journey
taking meds are a *****
dammed if you do
dammed if you don't
take care