nwsmith1984 : I had a minimal frontal and temporal lobe brain bleeding (brain contusion). Drugs can help if only you find the a right psychiatrist. The one I saw gave me Abilify and throw that drug away. He doesn't know what he was dealing with and just wanted to push the drug I think. For me Xanax helped to control that thoughts and now I am not on any medications. Some medicines like Cymbalta made my feeling worse.

Kenjhee: I completely understand what you saying and spiritual path helped me a lot. Meditation and Neuro feedback also controlled that feeling. As you said I am here typing so I didn't do it. I use the techniques you mentioned like positive thinking, what if it is worst after life and overall try to stay positive. But still some times I get that feeling, especially when my symptoms flares up. I even feel terrible when I think "Why did I think about killing myself"? Overall it got better since I am finding new way to control my symptoms without any drugs.