disclaimer: Remember, I'm on 'roids. So if anyone can tell that halfway thru writing this the 'roids took over and I started crying and probably kvetching (complaining/whining) a lot. That's the 'roids talking. Not me. (I went over and re-read this before posting, it sounded a little whiny, so I'm posting this disclaimer)

I like my mom, it's just that I've been stuck in the house with her for over a week. I need a break. (dad took her to the grocery store for awhile at least)

My mom does not have an empathy gene. She doesnt understand that my dad has a very serious heart condition, and she doesnt get that I've got MS. She knows I have it, but she doesnt get it. I'm the person who takes her everywhere when my dad doesnt feel good, and I always seem to know what she wants to eat when she cant decide on something at a restaurant.

Dad just retired, and he hasnt learned yet how to deal with my mom in a restaurant, and he's ticked her off by losing his patience with her when she wants something he considers not healthy. (I let her eat the stuff. It makes her happy, but I can sometimes quietly steer her towards things that are not french fries or bacon)

I just have felt like crap for the better part of a month now, and really crappy for a week now. I just want to be able to go upstairs without getting yelled at by my mom because I cant just drop everything and entertain her the way she's used to. She doesnt get that I'm really not feeling good right now. I can only stay in my room so long before I just want to go to a yarn store and walk around and feel the yarn and buy a bunch of crochet hooks and a skein or 20 to make something.

It sucks that it's just before Christmas too. I'm so glad that I started shopping early because I think I got most of what I wanted to buy for people, but my mom wants to go do a bunch of shopping. I kind of did that earlier with her than I usually do, so I'm glad I did that, but she doesnt remember very well that I've taken her out 3 times, so she thinks she hasnt done much shopping. (reason why I havent wrapped anything yet, so I can open the door to the office and point out the pile of stuff she's bought)

Really, I just want all this MS crap to hurry up and heal if it's going to so I can feel normal (not numb and in pain) again for a little while. I'd also like a mom who wasnt brain damaged by a drunk driver in 1957 that's now causing dementia too, but I cant have everything.

I think I'm just scared that I'm about to have to start shopping for a wheelchair or move to a house/apartment where my bedroom isnt in a basement. (we have a stair chair lift thingie here, so at least I can ride that up and down)

Sorry about any whining I may have just done. It's the 'roids.