Hi, everybody:

After a long absence caused by various illnesses and injuries, with no access to a computer with Internet, I want to thank all of you who responded to my post about my suicidal thoughts. Thinking about suicide, there are days when I want to live and days when I want to die, even though I love being alive and fear death, especially since my 2001 pedestrian vs. auto accident and since my parents are getting old. I know everybody has to die one day, but it does not make it easier to accept. There is not a day that goes by without my thinking about all the love, kindness, compassion... you showed to me. I will always remember this.

My thyroid problems are getting worse. The only doctor willing to prescribe some levothyroxine for me (my primary care physician) repeated and repeated to me he would not prescribe a higher dosage of levothyroxine for me just because the thyroid tests came back normal. It does not matter to him that I have had abnormal thyroid tests before, that I have all the symptoms of Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. What is next? Thyroid cancer and a coffin for me? I showed my doctor articles pulled from some Internet medical web sites saying that thyroid tests results are not always accurate because of different reasons and that thyroid symptoms should be considered more important than thyroid tests results. After all, it is a person's life and well-being we are talking about here. I am sure there are other people in my situation, probably not in the U.S. because patients are treated better there, but elsewhere in the world. I would so much like to order some levothyroxine (50 mcg tablets instead of the 25 mcg tablets I now have) on the Internet, from an American company, willing to send them to Tahiti just for me and because of my very bad situation (thanks to them for their kindness and compassion), but the customs in Tahiti will seize the medication and I am afraid my primary care doctor will find out about my Internet order and "eject" me as his patient. I forgot to mention that the 25 mcg tablets I have been taking for two months now still have not taken effect and made me feel better. This is why I decided to stop taking them. Why take something that does not help me? In the box of levothyroxine, there is a paper notice mentioning that the medication should work in no more than a month after starting to take it. For me, it has been two months and still no effect. Like I just said, my doctor dismissed me and NO one else will help me.

Besides my Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, I also have to deal with my generalized internal chronic RSD, the intense pain that sometimes comes with it despite the painkillers, my epilepsy, my asthma, my daily fatigue and headaches, and now back pain just got added to the long list of my health conditions. Usually, when I have back pain, it just lasts a day or two at the most. This time, my back pain has been there for over a week. When I went to see my primary care doctor (he was gone for vacations, so another doctor was replacing him), the new doctor told me he thought I might have a broken back. WHAT!!! A broken back! I do not think so! If I had a broken back, I could not walk and I would be paralyzed. Anyways, those are all my problems.

I also want to tell you that not a single day goes by without my thinking about you and all the good you do for other people, including me. I can only thank you for that. Billions of thanks again. You are invaluable.