Billie...you are still grieving and may I say, from one who has walked this path, you were/are not grieving properly. The way you are feeling right now, is normal. Your dear husband has not been dead that long and of course you miss him terribly. You were cheated out of precious time.

Give yourself plenty of time, plenty of tears, and don't have expectations of feeling good. It's way too soon. Some day your memories won't be this painful.

Do you have a support group near you? They are truly wonderful and will understand and help you.

(((Billie))) I hesitate to mention this but sometimes the second year is harder than the first.