Originally Posted by Hibiki

Hi, all!

I discovered this forum while trying to find information online about SSI, back pay, and things of that nature. I'm planning on posting a little more about my situation in one of the other sub forums later, but I wanted to post here first.

Skipping the details (which I'll post in the other thread I'm planning to open), I found myself unable to work back in 2005. I went through a long period of depression and anger, and on more than one occasion started the process of applying for SSI and SSDI. I found the process to be extremely frustrating, and at the time there was no one willing or able to take me to see the people who could help me get through the process. As a result, I've spent six years laid up. I can't drive a car because I'm afraid I'll lose focus and wreck during a moment of pain, and my mobility has gone through the floor.

Last year I met someone who is also disabled, and we became fast friends. She pushed me through the frustration and fear that came with with the process of getting government help. I started the process in July. I filled out a lot of forms, saw one doctor, and then a couple of weeks ago got a letter telling me I was denied SSDI.

I was upset, but then I got a call telling me I was approved for SSI (I never got the "award" letter, so there's information I need to get off the lady at the SSA, like how long it'll be before I'm up for review).

I can't describe the sense of relief I felt over that! I've been stuck in this rut for so long that I didn't think I was ever going to get out of it.

But now I've hit a bit of a roadblock, because I've seen some really different accounts of what is and isn't acceptable to do with the back pay I've received. It's only for a couple of months, so I didn't get a huge amount, and until I get the Medicaid card and work out 1/4 of the household income, I really don't have any expenses. I went and opened a checking account and deposited the back pay, and will be contacting the lady at SSA about getting future payments direct deposited.

I've started thinking about what I'm going to do: I've been living with my family for six years because of this injury, and I'm considering moving out. The payments aren't nearly enough to rent on my own, so I'll probably get a roommate or maybe rent a room from someone.

When I get the Medicaid card, I want to try and find a pain management doctor who can help me get day-to-day life back to as close to normal as possible. I'd also like to pick up a treadmill, because walking is important apparently (I haven't done a significant amount of it in a very long time, I miss it). I'm also planning to see a dentist, because I could use a bit of work in the oral area, and I need to see a dermatologist about some serious skin issues I've developed in the last couple of years.

In the meantime, I've got some money sitting in the bank. I only opened the account yesterday at the suggestion of the lady at the SSA. I kept a little bit out to help with household expenses, and I made a couple of small purchases with the debit card online last night to see if the thing had been activated. Not much else I can do with it until I get the Medicaid card and figure out where I can use it and where I'll have to conjure cash without it.

But... well... I've been unemployed for six years. And we're right on the cusp of Christmas. I'd sort of like to buy some gifts for my family and friends. These are the people who've taken care of me -- emotionally and physically -- for the last six years. But I've seen so many conflicting reports about what we're allowed to spend the back pay on that I'm literally terrified to spend any of it (I'm even nervous about using any of it to see a dermatologist or see the eye doctor again).

Can I buy some Christmas gifts, or would that get me into trouble?