Hello Michelle and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I am so very sorry for your loss, and no! You are not crazy. It's quite normal to have feelings of loss, or despair and I'm sure it must be hard for others to understand your feelings, having not experienced such tragedy themselves.

I don't know if you're up to it but there's a great book out that might help you a bit. It's called : "When A Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death" by Nancy Kohner & Alix Henley. The book is amassed of stories from other parents who lost a child, their emotions, and how they were helped by others and how they helped themselves. I was able to read it online at the following website: http://books.google.com.au/books?id=...page&q&f=false

Chemar has posted just above your post, about a new song called "Olivianna", and she has given some links that might bring you some comfort. Do have a look.