Hi, Pati and welcome. Please seek a diagnosis and treatment as soon as you can. Suicide is not the answer (I've heard it said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem--except it really isn't a solution and it is devastating to the other people in your life.)

There are many options for treatment so please be encouraged by that! I found in my case that the pain can sometimes escalate fast so I urge you to get help as soon as you can. In my case during the week of being diagnosed and tested before getting medication, my attacks escalated from several a day (which was annoying but tolerable) to constant unbearable pain. Can you get in to see the low cost doc sooner if you say it is urgent?

Also, if you have TN the treatment is usually anti-seizure medication rather than usual kinds of pain medications. Anti-seizure medicine is NOT the kind of medicine drug addicts want so I don't think any doctor will misunderstand what you want and think you are an addict seeking drugs once they understand the type of pain you are having.