I agree with Ginnie.

A partner who abuses you when you are ill, is reacting to the loss of attention he expects from YOU. This is a cardinal trait of narcissism and will not change. They are very resistant to any change. It is always about THEM...not you.

The attention a narcissist expects is called narcissistic "supply".
If it is removed, or changed, they erupt into tantrums and worse.

This link explains it very well for laymen. The concept with the big psychological words often is difficult to understand.
His tantrums reveal his fear of loss of attention from you. The internet with people to respond to you, presents another form of intrusion into his world.

Please read this wonderful site (and perhaps more than once-- as I have over the years)... it really is educational and helpful. A narcissist can destroy a marriage, a relationship, an employment situation, and can poison your life:

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/index.html

This is the BEST explanation for you to read.
And unfortunately, is it not easily changeable. If your husband was like this in the past...before you were ill, then the outlook is poor. If he abuses service people, waiters, etc. Or is always
looking for attention to himself, at the cost of you and your children, he may be narcissistic. You can go and find a therapist to support any changes you may have to make, or to help you learn how to reach him for some compromise. But be prepared that some narcisssists do not change. So if that is your problem, you need major support to deal this problem.

It is a tough place to be. I can feel for you...I had narcissistic parents...but luckily for me my hubby is not. I chose carefully!