[I am so sorry your beloved friend passed away. I know what you are experiencing so very well. I lost scruffy last year my cat of 21 years. I cried for months, and I still do now and then a year later. He was my best pal. I teared up thinking of what you must be feeling right now. I believe we see our pets on the other side, that they are still with us during our time of need.
It is hard when we are in pain, and then no longer have that comfort by our side. I hope you get through the holidays OK, and know that I am praying for you as you get to your surgical date. It is OK to cry. peace be in your heart. ginnie