Blaine I am so sorry you are going through this. Here are a couple of links that explain things better than I could, I think you will find many things that fit your relationship in the information.

http://www.domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/page5.htm

The first link has a number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, if you called them they could probably tell you what resources are available in your area if you can't find out. Most rural areas have a crisis line, they could probably tell you as well. This link also mentions using a safe computer if you need to.

The first thing they will probably ask is "Are you safe?" Verbal abuse can sometimes escalate into physical violence when the abuser feels threatened with loss of control so be careful and take care of yourself. How does he treat the horses? If he tends to get too aggressive with them be very
careful.

You are right that it will be hard and overwhelming to leave but it sounds like staying is hard and overwhelming too, all the stress isn't doing your pain levels and ability to function any good...'a worthless blob???!!' The DV people should be able to help you with the logistics. Some places have very good resources, I think there are some where women can stay for up to a year but I'm not sure how common that is, other places may offer fewer resources.

I know its hard to leave those horses too, I sold my dressage horse when I got divorced and 30 years later I still wonder how far she could have gone and what kind of foals she might have thrown. Maybe you could find a situation where you could still ride at some point.

Try the DV help and stay safe and in touch.
Zygo

PS: Is there any chance he would go to counseling with you or allow you to go by yourself?