I looked at the picture. I now know where your trouble areas are. It is also on the brain stem if I am looking at it correctly.
Oh Fence I don't know why this had to happen to you. I don't know why the hell it happens to any of us. I do have an odd way of looking at life and death however. I am into physics. We are composed of protons, which is energy. E=mc2 is famous as it says matter and energy is one. energy never dies, it transforms into something else. We are litterly composed of the matter that was generated at the big bang. It was not just scattered stuff spread around the universe, it was even and controlled. Organized if you will. The second law of thermodynamics says we go from a controlled state to disorganization basically as the universe developes. You never see a broken egg go back to being a whole egg. Everything breaks down and becomes something else. Especially energy. I don't believe we die. I guess I do believe in Jesus, but more, science is showing me just how organized nature really is. The more complexites I understand, the more I believe we are destined to be more than what we are down here. Maybe this is kindergarden, and when we die we go to college and finally understand things. Most certainly none of us really understands our own conciousness. Why are we here at all? And why do I even think about these things? Why do we have this ability to have it just go poof out of existance? I think there is more to it than what humans are able to comprehend. I don't know why we have all this suffering, why it has to be this way. Suffering has been going on since the beginning of our existance. I don't think it is a test, but rather the breaking down of the energy we are composed of, there to be transformed when we pass on. I never told anyone what I believe before. It is oK too if you think I am nuts. I just believe we are more, than what meets the eye, or our brains. I so hope that you get to live, and go on in life more. I hate this hanging over your head, or in your head, and I hate my throat, and the breaking down of my own body. I have 4 auto-immune diseases. I read to escape, and have turned toward learning as a way to cope, and maybe then I won't be so afraid of my own death. Well I now blew it, and all my friends will know what I think now, but thats OK too. Sometimes by showing our real selves, you get closer to the truth about human existance. This family on this site is another way to cope with all the medical and emotional problems we all have. I care about you fence, and I wish your artery would heal and not hurt you. I am glad you got the care you did, and that you are here to tell your experiences. I hope I can give you just a little comfort. Be at peace over the holidays. You will be in my prayers. ginnie