Cognitive side effects are common to benzos like Ativan. Did you take your gabapentin?

I know the fear because I lived with a similar fear of going to sleep because of the nightmares and other stressful sleep I would have if I stopped breathing due to my sleep apnea. It has taken me years to get over some of those fears.

I often go to sleep in a recliner while watching TV. I use a boring TV show to allow me to focus on something besides my sleep issues and let myself drift off to sleep. I have become quite good at avoiding the anxiety for the past few years.

It does take a concerted effort to find the system that works. I also use certain music videos (Celtic Woman) to help me zone out. I can be asleep by the second song with my Celtic Woman DVD's.

I find it help for the visual and auditory stimulation to be very familiar, almost to the point of being memorized. My brain knows what to expect and is not stimulated, just entertained. The term is amusement which properly defined means : to occupy the mind without thought. Try to find that amusement to help you zone out.

My best to you.