Kris,
Welcome. What a wonderful post. I am so sorry you have been through so much, but that is the entire reason for this thread is to show that when we can't do it anymore and we realize that, and start depending on God, he will step in and take over.
Self-sufficiency is one thing, I believe, that keeps us from truly experiencing God's help and the abundant life that he promises.
Sorry, I have been slow getting back here. I am reading this in the middle of the night. Thank you for sharing, and please stay with us. We all have a lot to learn and can help each other.
In Christ,
Judy